


How to Successfully Avoid Capture

by Kaiosea



Category: Infinite (Band), K-pop
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 12:45:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1132804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaiosea/pseuds/Kaiosea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you know how much Sunggyu is going to kill me if he finds out?”</p><p>“At least twice.” </p><p>Sungyeol tries to sneak Woohyun into their own dorm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Successfully Avoid Capture

**Author's Note:**

> First Infinite fic and it's kind of crackfic. Unspecified time period, but definitely a few years into the past.

Lucky for Woohyun, Sungyeol is lounging on his bed at 5:30pm on a Sunday, trolling Infinite fansites while non-intentionally eavesdropping on Hoya and Sungjong’s deep yet somehow boring conversation. So Sungyeol hears the tap on his window, and he follows up by looking outside, where he sees Woohyun jumping and waving his arms up and down. He squints. It looks like Woohyun is holding something in his right hand. It also looks like a cigarette, except for the fact that Nam Woohyun doesn’t smoke.

Sungyeol half-rolls his eyes.

“Come outside,” Woohyun mouths.

Sungyeol makes a face at him, but it’s not like he has anything better to do, and he also doesn’t want more gravel thrown at his window. He closes his laptop after noting that there are already three replies to the forum thread he started an hour ago, titled “Infinite Sungyeol Conspiracy—Real or Robot??”

“Are you okay?”

Sungyeol realizes both his roommates are staring at him, probably because he just pulled some pretty weird faces while staring out a second-story window, sitting on his bed alone.

“I’m practicing my acting. The window is a good mirror.”

Hoya seems to buy it, but Sungjong cuts his eyes at Sungyeol, then at Hoya.

“He’s finally cracked up. You owe me 5000 won,” Sungjong says.

“Lee Sungjong, I’ll kill you,” Sungyeol threatens as he slides off his bed.

Sungjong laughs. Hoya reaches for his wallet—the nerve of him!

“Hoya, you too.”

“We all do what we have to to get by, hyung,” Sungjong reassures.

Sungyeol lobs a pillow at Sungjong’s head, but Hoya intercepts and throws it back at Sungyeol all without looking up from his computer.

“Why would you bet on my sanity of all things?” Sungyeol yells at Hoya. He’s safe on the other side of the door by the time the pillow reaches it.

Pfft. His sanity is worth at least 50,000 won. _I’d pay that much just to know where and when I lost it._

 

::

 

“Wow, you fucking stink.” Sungyeol exaggerates his coughing noises, fake-retching over his arm. Truthfully he doesn’t mind the smell. It reminds him of being in middle school, where just sneaking a cigarette over lunch was regarded as the height of delinquency. Even though Sungyeol had researched the health risks, he and his friends used to light up occasionally just to cement their reputation as the most awesome group of 12-year-olds. Once he got to high school, though, he quit: partially because his friends were at other schools, partially because he’d realized his career would probably hinge upon his voice.  And rationality was right. As usual.

Woohyun kicks him out of his nostalgia. He’s standing with a cig in one hand and the other on his hip, a very abnormal posture for Woohyun.

“What, is that your badass smoking pose? All you need are sunglasses to complete the look.”

“Hey, it’s my first time!” Woohyun tries to elbow him, but Sungyeol dodges and grins. “Where’s Sunggyu?” Woohyun asks.

“He’s in the common room.”

Woohyun groans. “Do you know how much he is going to kill me if he finds out?”

“At least twice,” Sungyeol says. Sunggyu is almost religious in his devotion to his health, especially regarding his vocals. He would not respond well to the lead vocal taking up a part-time smoking habit.

“So help me. I don’t want him to smell it on me.”

“As a first step, you might want to stop smoking.”

Wooyun sighs. “You want the rest?” He blows a smoke ring into Sungyeol’s face, because of course he would be able to make rings his first time even though it had taken Sungyeol a lot of practice and many coughing fits to be able to make the tiniest ring float from his lips. Not that he was still bitter or anything.

“Nah, I’m too cool for nicotine. You got a better offer?”

Woohyun drops it on the ground and grinds it with the heel of his shoe. He purses his lips in consideration and manufactures a serious look on his face. “I’ll get you coffee tomorrow.”

“Deal,” Sungyeol says immediately. It won’t get better than that. “And you have to tell me what this is all about.”

Woohyun leans in close suddenly, like he’s about to reveal a big secret, so close Sungyeol smells his smoky breath.

“I actually hate the way this tastes. It’s all Kibum’s fault! I’m never smoking again.”

 “Good, that means no more rescue missions for me. For a second I thought I’d have to take out a patent.”

 

::

 

Sungyeol gathers what he needs from his room, tucking it into a small backpack. He ignores his roommates. He knows that Sungjong probably knows what’s up by now since he is practically telepathic, but since neither Sungjong nor Hoya makes a habit of ratting on the members unless it directly affects their own well-being, Sungyeol guesses that he and Woohyun are still good. He exits without attracting other attention; Sunggyu is motionlessly watching TV and Dongwoo is cooking. Myungsoo is probably asleep or busy, given that he’s not with Sungyeol.

“Okay, here you go.” Sungyeol uses his brightest voice and face as he hands Woohyun some fresh, unscented clothing. “It’s mine, so be careful.”

“I’ll be sure not to tear any more holes,” Woohyun jokes. But he drops his grin once he has the new clothes on properly.

“Do you know how short I look?”

“I dunno, aren’t high-waist pants the trend right now?” Truthfully, Sungyeol’s been laughing ever since Woohyun stuck his leg through the first pant-hole.

“Not this kind! How can they be too long _and too small_ at the same time? This is ridiculous.” The pants rise centimeters above Woohyun’s navel, but the upper leg area is skin-tight so his thigh muscles bulge out of the fabric. His bulge also, well, sticks out rather prominently, which Sungyeol does his best not to notice.

“Just cuff the ends a lot and stick them in your shoes!”

“Why couldn’t you get me my own clothes?!”

“Then they’d definitely have known something was fishy. I never go in your room.”

Woohyun shakes his head, rolling up the legs. “They’ll know something’s up anyways when I walk in like this.”

“We do weirder shit frequently. I’ll just say you owe me for something.” Sungyeol shrugs and adds, “Which is true, and don’t you forget it.”

 

::

 

They stroll inside casually like two normal people.

“Woohyun, what’s wrong with your pants?” Sunggyu asks, drawing his eyes away from the television.

“I like the new look,” Hoya says, fangs out.

Sungjong has earbuds in and is staring at his laptop, probably watching some freaky horror thing that would give the rest of them nightmares. He doesn’t bother looking up from the screen.

“He’s giving me fashion advice. Don’t I look like a model now?” Woohyun strikes a ridiculous pose.

Sunggyu makes a lemon face and returns his attention to the TV, switching the channel.

Sungyeol breathes out. They’re safe.

The door slams and Myungsoo appears in the doorway. He unwraps an insanely long black scarf from his neck as he kicks off his black sneakers.

“Where were you?” Sungyeol asks out of curiosity.

“Outside,” Myungsoo says, like the answer is obvious. He looks Woohyun up and down for several long seconds but offers no commentary, instead latching onto Sungyeol’s shoulders.

Myungsoo recoils. “Why do you smell like smoke?”

Sungyeol feels a chuckle starting to bubble up from his gut.

“Smoke?” Sunggyu says, and his eyebrows clench together. “What kind of smoke?”

Myungsoo carefully sniffs. “Oh. It’s cigarettes.” He solemnly backs away.

Dongwoo appears in the kitchen doorway, takes one look at Woohyun’s unfortunate pants situation and falls to the ground laughing.

Sungyeol tries hard not to look at Woohyun, fails, and the two of them crack up. Sunggyu’s eyes are narrowing more with every passing second.

Sungjong takes one earbud out of his ear and offers some casual assistance to Sungyeol. “Your problem is that you think you’re smart, hyung,” and the earbud goes back in. Sungyeol barely hears him over the sound of his own breath gasping for air.

Woohyun is faring little better. “I’m going to piss your pants,” he gulps.

Sunggyu glares from Sungyeol to Woohyun, willing them to confess whatever minor wrongdoing they have obviously committed. They continue to giggle like idiots.

Sunggyu resists the urge to throw his hands up in the air. “It’s finally happened. You owe me 5,000 won,” he says to Dongwoo.

Dongwoo takes out his wallet.

**Author's Note:**

> Urgent, fic needed: Sungyeol trolls Infinite fansites, using multiple accounts to start huge heated arguments (mainly with himself) about subjects such as Woohyun’s favorite brand of toilet cleaner and if Sungjong’s ears are REALLY natural, please let me know. I'm also on tumblr under the same username!
> 
> Comments are amazing!


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